Fat Fashion... a journey and a beginning

While my last post was about being fat and pregnant, I've realised that really I want to blog about fashion and fat. Perhaps with my age (30s!) and other things going on in my life I shouldn't be too bothered with fashion BUT I AM! Being fat makes being fashionable more of a challenge, but I've always liked a challenge.

I will start posting photos. Promise. Have to sort out how to take some photos at home! But before I show you what I'm wearing I want to share some of the journey that got me here and some of the fat fashion lessons I've learnt on the way.

New Zealand is a lovely country. Green, lots of sheep and great beaches. A complete and utter desert when it comes to plus sized fashion however. I did hear a rumour that a plus sized shop had actually opened its doors in a couple of cities now, but when I lived there I had access to ONE high street store that carried clothes that were over size 20. Most clothing stores in NZ went up to a size 16.

The store Farmers, that great NZ icon, had a plus sized section that carried about 10 items of clothing - most reasonably dire. Sara, an online plus sized offshoot of Postie Plus, carried a few nice things. My wardrobe consisted of very little and lots of it was from the NZ version of ebay. There are some more expensive plus sized retailers out there but the prices were hefty and the range terrible. I did once buy some things from Australia but still my overwhelming emotion when I found anything that fit me was sheer gratitude.

When I first came to the UK on holiday it was like a child in a candy store (or actually me in a chocolate store - yum) and that was just when I discovered Evans! Since moving here three years ago there has been a constant series of wonderful surprises as I have found more and more retailers that cater to the plus sized figure.

I know that these stores don't cater to all and some are reasonably dire in their offerings but trust me, the UK has it pretty good in terms of choice.

Fashion lessons that I've learnt since coming here:

- that just because something fits it doesn't mean that I have to buy it. After years of struggling to find anything that got over my hips and did up my mantra was 'if it fits, buy it', regardless of whether it suited me or I liked it. Now I realise that there are many choices out there. New mantra 'if you don't love it and feel wonderful in it, don't buy it'.

- Buy clothes that fit. I have made the mistake of ordering clothes that I realised didn't fit that well and keeping them anyway. I was later shocked to realise that they didn't fit properly because they were TOO big. Just being grateful they covered my ass isn't the answer. Sometimes things can actually be bigger than I am. Have learnt and might even start ordering things in two sizes to get the perfect fit - although not before I bought an H&M shirt that could double as a tent GRRR.

- Wearing black isn't the answer. NZ loves black. All Blacks aside kiwi women wear a lot of black. There is winter black and summer black (I kid you not). Summer black is shorter and in lighter weight fabrics, but still black. Black is a lovely colour but only in moderation. Black leggings are a gift from the gods, but look best with something else with colour in it. Colours are brilliant, especially in summer and women in the UK wear more colour that I have ever seen. Being fat doesn't stop you from wearing colour.

- there are lots of inspirational fat women out there who look as fab as anything and they can inspire you to be that little big braver and a little more proud about your shape.

And the lesson biggest of all....

- Nothing I wear is going to make me look thin or invisible so stop trying. I am 5'8, a size 26 and regardless of what I wear my ass will look big in it so start wearing things I love rather than being worried I might look fat in it. I'll look fat anyway so I may as well being wearing something nice. Blending into the background is for trees, and I ain't no oak so stop trying to be.

Rant over ;)

Pics soon, promise!!!

My Big Fat Pregnancy

I thought I would post about something that might be of interest to other plus sized women out there: pregnancy.

As a lass of ample proportions I was concerned that my size would firstly stop me from being able to conceive, carry a baby without significant health impacts and have a 'normal' birth (if there is such a thing!).

Being fat isn't the ideal for conception, so the scientific studies tell us. There is some solid medical evidence behind this in terms of hormones and of course the relationship between PCOS and weight gain. However, even at a BMI of near 50 I managed to get knocked up within four months of not that much trying. Oh, and I should point out that I was 35 at the time so I was also worried that all my eggs had got bored and lost the will to do their job.

Is this likely to be the experience of all women, fat or not? No. The one thing about the whole pregnancy marlarky is that the term 'normal' is meaningless. The length of time it takes for someone to conceive appears to vary greatly, often with no defined reason. Pregnancies can vary hugely not only between women but also for the same woman if she has more than one child. As for childbirth, well, out of our NCT class of five couples I don't think any of us had a birth that was without any complications or a little drama. Mine required the least intervention but more of that later...

SO, got knocked up. Went to doctor expecting to be told that I was Mother Earth, Gaia and all things wonderful and fercund, only to be told I was 'barely' pregnant and to come back at 8 weeks when they would take me seriously.

At 12 weeks I had my first scan. Now, this is something that might be affected by your weight. It was by mine in any case. Some scan photos are amazingly clear and detailed. Mine throughout my pregnancy were like trying to see a baby through a thick fog with the lights out. Details were few and fair between but we could at least tell there was something in there. Hearing the heart beat with a monitor was more successful. At the stage when skinny minnies can start to hear their darlings heart beat so could I. My birth was long, but had the least intervention of any of my friends. All skinny.

Being fat and pregnant means that your pregnancy will be different from that of your slimmer friends in at least one regard because you get extra scans (excellent, more fuzzy baby video) and more appointments with various people who will get to judge you because of your weight (not so good). The one piece of advice I want to impart is this: don't hope that medical professionals will ignore your weight. They won't and you need to be aware that your weight will have a possible impact on your pregnancy. If they don't tell you what you want to know -ask.

So, what's with all the F's???

OK, I'm not addicted to the letter F, really. It's just the name I was going to call this blog didn't really work in the end and I wanted to say it was going to be about being fat, fashion, having a family and really being fine (even though I'm fat)!

My personal feeling is that actually maintaining my current weight for the last four years has been much better for me emotionally and health wise than the previous 20 years of my weight either going down quickly with crash diets and then creeping ever higher while I felt more and more as a failure. Maintaining a constant weight has given me the opportunity to learn to love the body I'm in and adopt a lifestyle that, while not making me thinner, at least has keep my weight stable and my health fine.

At last, what I have always wanted...

apart from World Peace and a chocolate bar that never runs out... Yes, gumboots (or wellington boots to you British)!

Now for many lucky souls having a pair of wellies isn't a big deal. They go out, find some they like and buy them. For me it had turned into a rather epic adventure involving searching on the web and trying to pull on any I could find... with disappointing, sweaty and often depressing results.

When you have calves as lovely full figured curvey  fat as mine your options are limited. I didn't want to pay £75 to try out the Hunter ones that apparently have a wide slit in the side so I was swimming in the cheaper end of the market.

But as last my pain is over (as is winter too hopefully but there is always next year!) as I have just gone out and bought these little babies that fit like a dream! They are a shorter style but I'm loving the Cath Kidson look! £15 from Office. Bargain.

Anyone else been searching in vain for an item for their lovely plus sized selves? I wish you all the luck in the world!

Here I go....

This is my first blog post ever! I started reading some fat fashion blogs a few months ago and was inspired by these wonderful, funny and dynamic women. If I can encourage and inspire one other person a tiny bit then I'll be delighted!

Anyway, that is one of the reasons for creating my own little corner of the web. There are a few others but I'll go into those another time! Firstly, a little more about me. 

I'm in my 30's, fat (size 22-26 just in case you're wondering) and relatively fit and mostly fine. I love fashion but have struggled to have the confidence to dress like the woman I want to be. It's taken me a while but I have finally realised that clothes aren't going to make me look thin NO matter what I wear, so I may as well love the clothes I'm in!

I'm also interested in fat issues and the obesity debate that rages around us all. Is being fat evil and selfish? Does it make us bad people? Or are there just a lot of people out there that are making a lot of money from the dieting industry?

As a mother I'm conscious that my body and food issues could be passed onto my daughter, just as my mother passed her insecurities onto me. Well, there's a start anyway. Wow, sounding a wee bit serious so I should mention that I have a undying love of reality tv (although I have my standards) and chick lit. Oh, and history, modern literature and other deeply high brow things. Really. Thus the name Eclectica.

Ok, that is all for now, but once I work out how to post photos etc I'm going to bore you all with some of my favourite things in fashion right now, and even some pics of me! Ta ta!